youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
