he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
