I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Blood and glitter go together right?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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