I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize