hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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