we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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