so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
