Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
