garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
