Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
