we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
