I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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