Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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