The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
