How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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