i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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