I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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