i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize