i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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