Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
