Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
birth control should be required to get into college
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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