You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
