Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she told me i tasted like america
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
