just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
