"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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