Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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