I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm getting married
To pizza
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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