even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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