I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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