We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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