i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
