If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
