You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
