I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think your dad took our porno
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
