Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
