I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
