Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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