"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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