I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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