She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
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TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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