addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
