I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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