His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize