well I can't set my house on fire every night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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