Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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