Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
