What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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