Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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