Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
