Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
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How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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