Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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