So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
