Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
