what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
